What I’ve come to understand…
I am not here to heal you
Many of those who accept the role of “healer” do so with some reluctance and trepidation. Not only do we often start this journey with a false belief that we must work through all of our own challenges first, but also an inaccurate sense of the level of responsibility we perceive rests on our shoulders, bare a mighty awe for the power of this work, and feel weak in the knees facing the tasks ahead. We may start out thinking we have to stand apart in some way, hold ourselves to some high, secret and mysterious code, in awe of those who have walked this path before us and struggling to “live up to” the mantle we have donned. We take ourselves far too seriously. It’s exhausting and fruitless and rather ridiculous.
Hopefully, eventually, we figure out that our egos have gotten ahead of themselves and humbly come to the realization that, while there are certainly responsibilities to uphold, ethics and codes of conduct to keep our clients and ourselves safe, and (unless we practice certain traditional indigenous or aboriginal shamanistic techniques) we genuinely have nothing to do with a client’s healing process other than to do our own work and show up. Seriously, nothing.
I know… What??? Nothing? Yes. We are here as witnesses, sometimes facilitators, but ultimately it doesn't matter how well trained or practiced, how high a healer raises their own vibration, or how grounded they are, or how intuitive. The nitty gritty of the situation is that the energy goes where it is needed and the client is the one who leads and manifests. Our job is to follow them where they invite us to go and empower them to trust themselves on their journey. We have no say in how or when they heal. It isn’t up to us. Period.
Sometimes this realization is met with a huge sigh of relief, other times it is the threshold of a dark-night-of-the-soul as a healer grapples with their deep desire to serve, humility, and a sense of loss-of-purpose. What is my role? Do I matter? Why would someone come to me if I can do “nothing” for them? How can I “help” others if it isn’t up to me? Am I a fraud?… If the healer is lucky this questioning leads them further down the path and they come to understand that the most profoundly healing thing they can do is to see the being before them as that individual cannot see themselves. To know, with complete certitude, and in the depth of their being, that the person is whole, woven of Divinity and Earth, and that they hold within their perfect, human, life-worn hands all the tools their soul needs.
So, “Healer” is just a word we use for lack of a more widely understood concept that is perhaps more accurately described by saying, “I am someone who sees the beautiful, messy, sacred, and profound power that you hold within you and I am so grateful that you are showing it to me… show me more. I want to know you…”
I want to know you.